there is nothing simple about love...it's actually a lot more complicated than anything else on this planet. when you are 18, you really hope that this love, that you are in, is the one...the one that will take you through your life and won't ever leave you behind. Probably for 1% of people it happens exactly as described. With the rest of the population, love becomes something we grow to define: great love, painful love, current love, past love and this list of "love" sentiments can go on and on.
most of us (speaking from women's perspective only) get married one day, hoping exactly what we hoped for when we were 18, that this is it, this is forever, cinderella is me. and then something happens...not to all of us, but to most of us. we find ourselves defending our love...it's a very weird place to be, almost as if you are at war with the world...it seems that the human race and all the forces of nature are against you; you fight against a tide of completely surreal life circumstances that you never imagined even existed in this universe, all in the name of your love, to prove to this world, that your love is real, and nothing or noone can break it.
you loose a lot in this battle..friends become foes or just slowly drift in unknown direction, hopes become something out of the book that you forget about, feelings become numb and you are so used to fighting that you can't even figure out a difference between feeling happy or sad, empty is probably what you are, but the saddest loose is your innocence. you somehow learn to smell hate in every word, in every movement, you learn to find somebody's bad intent in their eyes and you become that person that hates others.
in our battles, we become wounded soldiers, soldiers of love who put everything on the line, including themselves. i find it mesmerizing that people hate each other so much. people hate people for no reason, just because they were born in certain parts of this world, in my life example jews hate muslims, the rest of the world just hates jews and in this unequal balance, you throw in love, the most unbalanced element known to men.
I never believed in God before, but if he exists, one day we all will be there, judged by him, for all good or bad we do, for proving that we are worth being a human race and i am scared we won't pass the test. hatred has gained such force, that nothing can stop it, even the greatest love.
My innocence burned out a long time ago, but one tiny particle of it is still embeded in me, like a raging flag i put it up for all of you to see. this is me, and your hate can't break me, even if it breaks my heart.